Dearest J,

Well, I had a great time in New Mexico after visiting the Center of Action and Contemplation (CAC), which is a Christian contemplative center focused around mysticism. I also discovered a nice book there by Richard Rohr, titled “Just This” (link below) which I also highly recommend. I bought a few copies, one for a friend and the other for my 12-step sponsor.

Below are some images of my time at CAC, click to expand:

I like the writings of Richard Rohr (the founder of CAC) because it kind of ties together the language that I found in ACIM and the Bible, but lacked the underbelly … or the poetry I should say, that I found so beautifully written by Rumi (a Sufi poet), the wisdom of Pema Chödrön (a Buddhist monk), or my own spiritual experiences.

The wind and mystery, the wrapping of God spoken to as breathe, or blood, or the glue of things that are as they are. The IS-ness or reality as we know it, the unspeakable, the mysterious, but the real. The ugly. The disastrous, but beautiful. The feeling of looking at yourself in the mirror while you’re crying, because there’s something beautiful there that you can’t explain.

The vulnerability.

Describing it in ways that now when I’m spoken to about things that connect the mystics of many religions (poetry in Sufism, quite space in Buddhism, the art of Kabbalism, the music of Catholicism, the “nowness” in Personal Development, the Unity in ACIM) — even though I studied these religions I’d view them as completely demonic, but now I feel like I understand that language in context with the Bible, which I view as a blessing INDEED as that to me IS good news!). It all connects and makes sense. It’s the missing Jelly on my PB sandwich, if you will. I can appreciate it, in it’s gentleness.

After the CAC, I headed off to the remoteness of the Abiquiu desert where Georgia O’Keefe lived. I stayed in a Yurt, saved some puppies that were dumped, and reconnected to an essence of God that makes a lot more sense to me. I’m not going to share all about NM in this post, as I’d like to focus on the CAC and how it’s impacted my view of “Higher Power” and reconnected me to the God of my understanding, which has somehow evaded me after the spiritual abuse I experienced at a non-denominational church that meant well, but missed the mark. Even just yesterday, speaking to my sister she went through Romans road to just be SUPER DUPER SURE that I’m a Christian, which is sad. If another Christian needs to quiz you every time you talk on if you’re Christian by asking you if you believe in each tenant of Christianity, it gives me the hint that maybe they’re questioning their own faith. I mean, are you really a Christian? Do you follow XYZ exactly like this formula lays out?

I’m grateful for the time I had there to reconnect to my original roots understanding God. It’s not a formula. The idea I’ve kind of been skirting around, which was lost on me when wrapped up tightly in closed-minded Christianity. I still consider myself a Christian, but even that label feels limiting.

Panentheism, perennial philosophy, mysticism, Christian mysticism, Christian contemplation. Viewing the “RIPPLE EFFECT” in true form.

Anyways, I also visited a Christian monastery in the desert there, which was in the mountains. It was unbelievable. It was awesome, just hanging out with some silent monks. But more importantly, just the drive there — you’re essentially completely immersed in nature. And when it rains, be prepared for mudslides. Basically, I just became more aware of God. Not “Christ” per-se as the “Unity” of all mankind, but GOD. The God we will never really quite understand, but is always here and personal and all around us. The God that understands us.

Criticism

I wanted to briefly mention, as much as I respect Doreen Virtue, and she’s so deeply help me understand apologetics (along with Alisa Childers, etc), but she directly opposes Richard Rohr, CAC, and the idea of Lectio Divina. Which honestly, I cannot agree with. Because now, I feel I need this aspect of Jesus and God. The peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Not fearing HELL and SATAN, by focusing more on Spiritual Warfare than seeing the fruits of the spirit.

This is the post I’m referring to:

And the reason she’s so opposed to it is because of this woman, who she’s interviewed to talk to about this subject at length with.

This is the woman and Doreen’s episode I’m referring to — she interviews Marcia Montenegro who runs the non-profit CANA.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not into the Enneagram, which Rohr discusses. I can agree with Marcia on this (btw here’s her site). I’m not 100% down with that, or personality tests, or astrology, or any tools that assist people in understanding themselves better. That’s not my issue with this type of thinking.

The type of thinking I’m against is saying that contemplative PRAYER and MEDITATION (which is Biblical, Jesus himself went away and prayed alone) is demonic.

Why is everyone suddenly throwing around these terms?

It’s not demonic to pray. To contemplate. To be quite, and take a moment. It’s not demonic to see God around you. In everything that God made, I do not believe it is demonic whatsoever. And so, unfortunately, this is where I have finally started to depart from the world of Doreen Virtue and focus more on unifying my vision of God rather than pointing the finger at other Christians and telling them their faith isn’t right.

I understand that if you get too “woo” you’ll lose it. But there’s also the flip side, the extremism of unhealthy forms of Christianity I truly believe now (given my own experience) can dry up, and quite literally evaporate your connection to spirit. For me personally, seeing the entire world as creepy and evil felt more like looking for the shape in the clouds rather than noticing the beauty of God himself by noticing the cloud.

It’s tough, bc the founding of this website is literally BASED on the Bible I found by Ms. Fay which was LITERALLY a “Spiritual Warfare” Bible — which ironically has led me to understanding what that looks like for me.

What’s Next?

So next, I plan to read the 12-step book CAC released, which I heard about through a Brené Brown interview with Richard Rohr on his book “Breathing Under Water”.

Apparently CAC also released a few courses on both “Breathing Under Water” and “Mystical Sobriety” which looks really cool!

Anyways that’s all for now! Thanks for reading :)

<3