A small Billy Graham miracle
First off, I’m an undecided voter. Second off, this is not a political post, but one in which I have to explain the lead-up of what led to a miracle today, or rather, a small way that Jesus showed up for me today.
Yesterday was official madness watching the RNC come together to promote their unity over their elected official, Donald Trump, as next president. As I designed the UFC website and part of it’s app and a lot of the branding, I wanted to see Dana introduce Donald. Hilariously, I opened the video on Hulk Hogan quite literally ripping his shirt off and couldn’t stop but laughing at the sheer entertainment value.
Throughout the whole thing, my partner was calling me “Hitler” and “autistic” for watching it, despite the fact that I’m kind of still undecided, and have the freedom living in America to be aware of what politicians are saying, so that I can be properly informed when it comes to poll time.
You see I have voted before, but it was more of a shot at the hip, or do to influences by others. I never really knew what I was doing. I’m embarrassed to admit that, but that’s something I want to get real about and stop pretending. So I want to watch BOTH parties, and ALL debates, to have a better sense of how Jesus speaks about this within my soul and make my decisions from a holistic examination of all parties.
Anyway, after watch Hulk Hogan’s larger than life presentation, a guy came up to talk after — and me not realizing, this was Franklin Graham, whom I actually once saw live, I just shut the video off. By comparison to Hulk, I couldn’t stand to watch it.
By the time Trump spoke, he said that he can’t think of anyone that didn’t do a stellar performance opening up for him. But then sadly at the end, Trump said that Franklin Graham could’ve done kinda a better job. Well, what would you expect after watching Hulk Hogan? Honestly whoever did the lineup call could’ve put Franklin Graham closer to the end maybe, because it was just so weird to see this dude who beats up people speak, and then watch a Godly man speak right after. Entertainment vs Holiness … I mean — it’s difficult to compare. So honestly, I don’t know how you could really compete. And I ended up tuning out totally.
(I will just gently put this in, but Franklin Graham is a Godly man, and someone I don’t think you should throw under the bus. In fact, the fact that he was quite and more “meek” than the fight.fight.fight characteristics and pro-weaponization movements speaks to Godly love, which is outside the bounds of violence … of course it would fall on deaf ears at that point for me — something I had to reflect on this morning … that’s my 2 cents there).
So back to this morning of reflection on that moment. The point and miracle of this post is the way God spoke to me through what happened next. A few months back I picked up a book by Billy Graham on his life. It was titled “JUST AS I AM”. Not thinking I’d read it given it’s size, though, I dropped it off at a local tiny book-house a minute walking distance from my home. Thought it’s been over a month since I dropped the book off — I got the idea after watching the convention that maybe I should take a look to see if the book was still there. Possible. And lo and behold it was.
You see, I have an obsession with “neat” books, I don’t like any of my books crinkled — and wasn’t looking forward to seeing the damage on leaving it after a month and a half. And once I had a moment to sit down, I noticed a page was bent in the middle/back of the book. I was almost kind of upset that books get so beat up when they deserve respect. So I unbent the page, and read that page. I read the first line, and wow.
It opened up to a sentence in which he travelled to my homeland, Transylvania. Literally that was the line. Listen, that’s not an obvious for anyone to really write about from a biblical lens. And given this is VERY hefty book, the irony to opening up and reading that direct sentence was more than I could bare. He didn’t talk about that location anywhere else in the book, literally.
The craziest part, though, was that I turned to the page before it, where he started discussing this. And at the bottom of the page it ended with him giving a lecture on “Psalm 23”. Just WOW again. That’s literally the exact Psalm that Ms. Fay died reading. For those maybe new to my story, this site was created out of dedication to a very devout woman named Fay, who also shares my name which translates in English to “Fay”. She brought back my curiosity on faith in a very unique way.
Anyways, I kind of had a moment there and literally teared up. I felt that God was looking down at me somehow, that there was something bigger than me that I really didn’t understand. It spoke about how God might be with me in the smallest things, and whether or not he wants me to finish this book, that Billy Graham had a message for me … but more importantly, God had a message to me personally. That Jesus is with me, somehow present in the mundane but important parts.
In both talking about my home country and that psalm. Right there, on one page.
I also felt God was there despite the unkind words of my partner, and that despite it all, I was doing the right thing by educating myself.
I just started a new medication a few days ago for ADHD, and I’m hopeful that gives me some more clarity and focus on deciding where my life will be heading. It might not give me all the answers I need, but I need to focus. I need to focus on who I want to vote for, what I believe not only with faith, but also in general. And I most certainly need it to help me decide on how to continue or not in my relationship. Despite loving my partner, he’s opposed to everything spiritual I follow, and gives me hardship over anything that he doesn’t agree with politically. In fact he specifically stated I’m not allowed to watch anything conservative in this apartment, and we share a studio. And I know it’s my right to do so, so I just ignored it anyway. It’s God I know who are in those moments of injustice.
It’s now justice I seek knowing my grandpa survived the Holocaust. It’s for dignity I seek hearing of the hardship it took for my parents to escape a totalitarian communist regime to come to America for hope. It’s now confidence I’m seeking that I’m even creating this site, and being honest about my faith journey.
I deserve freedom. I was about to say “I deserve better”, but “better” means freedom. Freedom of belief, freedom to choose your own party to vote for, freedom from being dependent on drugs and alcohol abuse, without incessant harassment and name calling and finger pointing.
And THAT is freedom. And GOD is with me.
