Full Circle Moment (Understanding Suffering of Jesus on the Cross)

Dearest J,

I had a really crazy thing happen to me, as I took a break from all the madness for the last few weeks to take a trip. I realized the suffering that Christ bore, super-cedes all other suffering that people go through to make a point the way he did.

Therefore, I finally think I understand Jesus Christ’s “gift” to the world, and therefore I guess that makes me Christian. In terms of however, him RISING after 3 days LITERALLY, I don’t know if I can believe that. But on behalf of his suffering and death on the cross and the metaphorical “rising” of consciousness of everyone (which probably DID take 3 days, and the profoundness), yeah. I think I really DO understand his “substitutionary atonement” thing which is more like RADICAL love > ridiculous law.

However, the way he went about it is amazing.

Some people kill others to prove their point, and to seek justice.

Jesus on the other hand, sought justice through his OWN death and INTENSE suffering at the hands of the very people who were corrupt to their core, and through his own suffering to help them raise their own awareness and consciousness through his death. That’s kind of crazy and amazing.

The other stuff (like the virgin birth, the rising from the dead, the literalism) are more … color for me.

But in essence, I’m def back to the beginning of my “Catholic” walk if you will … which makes me appreciate Catholicism more than Protestantism for this point where suffering is the center, and the music etc is more somber in tone and gets to the point clearer for me. So yeah!

In other news, Marianne Williamson is now trying to lead the liberal party in the USA and the connections of New Thought to Oprah to even Donald Trump being raised in New Thought makes me realize that perhaps no one in the government is actually a Christian regardless. So yeah. I don’t know how I feel about that all just yet, I’m sure I’ll think deeper about that … but I’m realizing America is right now just filled to the brim with gnosticism of every such place.

And lastly I’ll say, I’ve gotten back into astrology again. This time, hellenistic (haha) astrology based on the whole house system. As for if that’s demonic or not, I’m not quite sure. If I look at Jesus through the lens of radical forgiveness, I’m not sure that it’s bad. In fact, the 3 dudes found Jesus through being astrologers (which were astronomers at the time). And dream interpretation was a thing, so yeah. I dunno. I dunno how I feel about deuteronomical stuff.

And really lastly lastly, I completed my monastic order! I don’t think I’ll continue onto the 2nd stage at this time, but it was cool while I did it :)

That’s all for now!

Blessings,
Fay <3