Addressing Spiritual Trauma With My Sponsor

Dearest J,

I had a meeting today with my sponsor who is Christian. I’m realizing that I told her I am reading “A Course in Miracles” (ACIM) again, and watched as she nodded with enthusaism, not condemnation. This is good, because though she doesn’t agree with the text, and largely said last year that it makes no sense (and potentially is anti-gospel), she saw a positive light in me. So that was good news.

In addition, I did a few things. One in which, I attended an anxiety meeting with a domestic abuse group. In it, it was recommended that we draw something without raising our pen. I tried that, and it was a little clumsy, but then repeated the exercise allowing myself to draw the way I’d want to. Here’s the sketch I made:

Now, this is a really important point to make: I haven’t done art in a long time. In fact, I lost all my “passions” have basically dried up completely.

Thus, I began to attend CoDA meetings this past week, and let her know about it.

I also told her that I attended Unity Church, that I’ve recently got interested in Maya Angelou, and that I’m slowly trying to get out of the cage in my mind. She mentioned reading the book “When a Caged Bird Sings” and I definitely will.

I probably will address my experience going to a Unity service in a different post.

Though I let my sponsor know that I’d need to definitely pull back from the verbiage of my church and the faith itself, she went on to invite me to a Monday evening meeting that goes through recovery with a “different” twist … one in which recovery is primary, and where scripture highlights recovery (rather than vice versa). That kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but because I’m also doing ACIM, I tried to remember in my head that I should forgive her, and that her vision of God is all-loving and not the same as the fundamentalist limitation that I feel. I also understood that she might not have religious trauma the way I do. So I just have to let it go, and realize that I do not have to be over-reactive, or react at all. I can just continue on with my own work.

Thanks for listening!

<3